This week is going waaay differently than I expected, y'all.
And you can probably guess why from today's title.
So this post is me extending out an olive branch to the disappointed, adventure-seeking parts of my brain.
Let me explain.
I had every intention of visiting Tallinn this weekend - that's the capital of Estonia for those of y'all playing along from home! (Looking at you, American friends and family!) I even tagged on a little ferry trip to Helsinki, Finland because - hey, why not? I can do things like this now, right?
But when the concert I was going to see got canceled and I looked at the cold, rainy forecast of weather and my mind, I had to decide - was it worth the trip? Should I cancel it and eat the cost? Should I wait to go with someone else? Or should I wait to visit solo in the spring or summer? I didn't know. And it surprised me how hard I fought to make this work.
Why?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was coming at it from the mindset of a former Eva - one who used to live across an ocean.
I was placing an old script - old conditions - onto this new life of mine - "this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience! What if I never get to return here? Will the well run dry on me?"
But the truth is: it's a bus trip away.
And after talking to an American expat friend (shout out to Meredith!), I recognized that it was okay to let this displaced sense of urgency slide out of my hands: to enjoy a Vilnius weekend with my Scientist, with my friends, and surrender Tallinn to the wind - for now. (Talk about embracing change and patience from last week and putting it into action immediately!)
And hey, it all worked out: the hotel is letting me move my stay, transportation got sorted, life moves on.
So, when should you cancel your trip?
For me, it's when you're going back and forth, considering, doubting, writing pros and cons lists, borderline agonizing because your brain has tripped you up into believing this opportunity will never come back around. When it's best for your self-care to stay and you recognize you can go another time. Sometimes life just throws you a different line than the one you expected and you've gotta roll with it. Sometimes you forget you moved around the world and can just try again another day.
So that's what I'm doing.
What would it take for you to cancel a trip, big or small? Have you done that before, and what did you do instead? I'm curious.
And as per usual, feel free to subscribe at the bottom of this page to receive a bi-weekly email from me on whatever's on my heart that day! And as always, I'll see you next time here at Into the Forests I Go - iki pasimatymo - see you soon!